“I’m not an expert mom, but I’m good enough to make something out of myself.”
I’ve always been the Jack of All Trades but Master of None. I’ve always been good at a lot of things but never the best.
I didn’t want to be the best.
I think it’s not because I didn’t want to put an effort or because I wasn’t dedicated or serious enough. I think I didn’t believe in being competitive.
Now, I do not think being competitive is wrong. It definitely makes you push your own boundaries. But I found being competitive uninteresting.
Maybe I did not also like the idea of proving myself to somebody else. Even to myself. I found it unnecessary. It sucked the joy out of me.
In more likelihood, I found it dreadful to stick to one skill and not explore the others.
I was more curious than being committed.
And so am I with life, in general.
I cannot choose. A choice is giving up on something else. I have to try it all.
I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. You cannot know what you want unless you know what you do not. And how are you to find what you do not want if you aren’t going to explore all the possibilities of what you can want?
I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. The taste of wandering is seductively more guiding than the security of building a nest.
I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. Life is not about being an expert at living. Life is about making fuck ups. And learning.
” I’m not an expert at anything mom.But I’m happy being me, the way I am.”