Not an Expert.

via Daily Prompt: Expert

Expert

 

“I’m not an expert mom, but I’m good enough to make something out of myself.”

I’ve always been the Jack of All Trades but Master of None. I’ve always been good at a lot of things but never the best.

I didn’t want to be the best.

I think it’s not because I didn’t want to put an effort or because I wasn’t dedicated or serious enough. I think I didn’t believe in being competitive.

Now, I do not think being competitive is wrong. It definitely makes you push your own boundaries. But I found being competitive uninteresting.

Maybe I did not also like the idea of proving myself to somebody else. Even to myself. I found it unnecessary. It sucked the joy out of me.

In more likelihood, I found it dreadful to stick to one skill and not explore the others.

I was more curious than being committed.

And so am I with life, in general.

I cannot choose. A choice is giving up on something else. I have to try it all.

I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. You cannot know what you want unless you know what you do not. And how are you to find what you do not want if you aren’t going to explore all the possibilities of what  you can want?

I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. The taste of wandering is seductively  more guiding than the security of building a nest.

I’m not an expert, but I’ll tell you this. Life is not about being an expert at living. Life is about making fuck ups. And learning.

 

” I’m not an expert at anything mom.But I’m happy being me, the way I am.”

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Not an Expert.

  1. I agree, but it’s hard to leave the security of building a nest, especially when others depend on you — or is that just an excuse? I don’t know. By the way, I love the title of your blog.

    Like

    1. I think its ok to put yourself first. I think its not the security that entices us but the lack of courage to venture into uncertainty. But then again, what’s one man’s meat is another man’s poison. And its your journey and yours alone. You decide the path you take 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It just struck to me ..
    maybe thats why we like art..
    because art let’s us be us ..
    No right or wrong in art
    We never compete in art ..we strive to be different by revealing our true being..because our truth is always fresh and new
    We can paint our own wierd existence..

    Like

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